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The Birthday Dirge
So you've aged another year
Now you know that Death is near
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
May the candles on your cake
Burn like cities in your wake.
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Indigestion's what you get
From the enemies you 'et
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Doom, destruction, and despair
Grief and sorrow fill the air
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Typhoid, plague and polio
Coffins lined up in a row
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
May the children in the street
Be your barbequeing meat
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
When you've reached the age you are
Your demise cannot be far
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Pestilence has struck your town
You yourself feel quite run-down
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Birthdays come but once a year
Marking time as Death draws near
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
We brought linen, white as cloud
Now we'll sit and sew your shroud
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Your servants steal, your wife's untrue
Your children plot to murder you
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Long ago your hair turned grey
Now it's falling out, they say
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
So you're 29 again
Don't tell lies to your good friend
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
So another year has passed
Don't look now they're gaining fast!
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
May your deeds with sheep and yaks
Equal those with sword and axe
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Fear and gloom and darkness but
no one found out YOU KNOW WHAT
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
This one lesson you must learn
First you pillage, then you burn
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
Burn the castle and storm the keep
Kill the women, spare the sheep
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
While you eat your birthday stew
We will loot the town for you.
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
It's your birthday never fear
You'll be dead this time next year
Happy Birthday! thud! Happy Birthday! thud!
